We’ve created a number of resources to help you, whatever your needs. Watch our videos on Youtube, hop over to our FREE Facebook support group, read our blog posts, or do all three!
“I have come away with lots of strategies to use with my children, I love that the approach instils self-worth and esteem and I truly believe the approach and training should be rolled out nationally.”
– Amy, Parent of Twin Girls
More Specific Support
Their course gave me the skills to feel equipped and confident to manage the behavioral challenges that lay ahead, and to give the children the confidence and self esteem to manage their own behaviours.”
– Michelle, Teacher & Parent
Here are some questions we have already answered that may help you.
My child is anxious and I am literally so scared of where this could go. I have been anxious myself in the past and I worry that this is my fault, what on earth can I do to help. It feels like the more I try the worse it gets...
We are so sorry to hear this, and can already say that by getting in touch and asking yourself the question, shows you are doing a great job! We can often feel that the way our child thinks, feels or behaves is our fault and it really isn’t. Yes we can pass on some of our ways to our children, but unless we are literally the only person or thing we see in life then we can not be completely responsible for who they are! We also need to remember that none of us are perfect, NONE of us! Of course we will pass on things to our children we maybe wish we hadn’t, but we will also pass on lots of great things too! When we are anxious, we can often be very empathic people, sensitive to other peoples needs (often at a cost to our own which we can work on!) Anxiety is not catching, or something we are born with, so the good news is, we can make changes towards feeling less anxious for both us, and our children! Our advice would be to get support for yourself, so that you can work on feeling less guilty and responsible for how your child feels. Then you will be able to see more clearly what they need, and how you can help, as we often end up in a cycle where we can feed each other’s anxieties! In order to show empathy to your children, which will help them feel calmer and more grounded, you need to empathic with yourself first!
My son’s behaviour is affecting the whole family now, we’ve had enough, we can’t seem to go out as a family without some kind of drama, and he’s always in the middle of it! I love him dearly but just cant understand why he behaves the way he does, my others don’t!
It must make things very stressful for you as a family, and we are so glad you got in touch, as we find that often when trying to manage our child’s behaviour, it can feel quite instinctive to do the opposite of what we might recommend! You will need to trust us on this, and we always say give it a try, especially if what you are doing right now isn’t working, because what do you have to lose? We developed a number of systems and approaches to help give parents structure to managing behaviour. You will find many videos on our Facebook pages and groups but give us a shout if you can’t find them! If your child has outbursts and they seem angry or frustrated, then the best way to deal with this is through empathy, which can feel so unnatural when we just want them to behave, it can be more instinctive to want to tell them off and get angry and frustrated ourselves. There is a video on understanding the difference between anger and rage on our Parent Plus TV which may also help. Make sure you download our LEAVE approach Ebook as this will explain a structured way in which to show empathy in these situations. This will start to enable your child to regulate their feelings better and more effectively communicate what they need!
My child really seems to lack confidence and is really critical of himself and hes only 8! This worries me that he is already thinking like this, and that he’s not as good as his friends. I tell him constantly that he is but it doesn’t seem to sink in?
We all do this at times and so our children will too. It can be so hard as a parent to hear our children, who we love and admire, be so harsh on themselves! However, saying to them ‘no you are not’ or ‘don’t say that’ will not necessarily help. If they are particularly critical at times, this may indicate that they are feeling stressed or overwhelmed about something, so rather than focusing on what they have said, ask if everything is ok, or how they are feeling at that time. They may be overthinking to avoid how they are feeling. It’s always important to consider which emotional development stage your child is at (you can access these in the files of our free support group on Facebook or just contact us directly) and this may explain what is going on for your child. For example, your son is 8. At this age he is in stage 5 – skills and structure, and some of the development here is around learning to be ‘good enough’, practising thinking and doing, developing internal controls as well as testing ideas and values, so it’s no wonder they can be experienced as being critical and harsh at times, as they haven’t quite found their settled place with all of this. It’s important to encourage him to think for himself, but also let him know that you are there for him when he gets distressed and overwhelmed. Talk talk talk!