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Comfort – Why it’s ok for our children to regress

In times of stress and overwhelm we all need comfort and familiar things. We look for predictability as this can help us feel safe and secure. It’s a bit of an illusion because we can’t predict the future but children especially can look for this to calm themselves and self soothe.

Reading the same story, the one they know the ending to, we might be sooooo fed up of it, over and over again but it’s a powerful tool for some children.

Playing games that they can get lost in, they know the rules, they don’t change and that can give them a feeling of normality. They can get lost in the game and this can help some children when they feel fearful.

Allowing our children to express their feelings and emotions in a safe way is important for them to feel secure. It is a part of all our psychological development that we regress when faced with new or unfamiliar things. A new job, divorce, a sudden change in circumstance we can all go back to the ‘being’ stage where we ‘need’ to be looked after to have our needs met by others and this can often include ‘the old familiar’ things.

Have you ever just wanted to watch a film you have seen before curled up under a duvet eating comfort food? Well I’m happy to tell you that’s normal, same as reading a book you have read before or wearing a sloppy t shirt that has seen better days. My favourite thing is getting into a bed of freshly laundered sheets, for some reason that feels safe and secure for me.

It’s ok for our children to regress a little, to look for the familiar things from the past that gave them comfort.
It’s ok for US to do that too <3

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